This week I would like to use my column to offer my congratulations to Theresa May.

In a newspaper including allegations of fibbing Lib Dems and political opponents pooing on porches, our esteemed Prime Minister has managed to make the most petty political statement in Cornwall.

Fresh from flying visits to other constituencies - literally, in a helicopter - to meet craven local party supporters, she has once again shied away from any meaningful contact with her electorate and the press that represent them whilst on a putative visit to small businesses in Helston.

It would appear that Mrs May was so afraid of the press, in fact, that reporters had to be shut in a room for fear she may actually have to answer a question, or have those answers made a matter of public record.

Who knows what message the Tories were hoping to squeeze out of this trip - all anyone will remember is an absolute PR omnishambles’ showing once again that Mrs May has little concept of image management and no way to steer a situation that is not already going her way. And if reports from Mevagissey are to be believed, she is also confused by as simple a task as eating chips. What a leader.

Why is Mrs May so afraid of the people of Helston? Has she realised that just repeating ‘strong and stable government’ will not wash with the rational Cornish? Or does she have an aversion to formal dancing and floral hats? Who knows?