Ten of the best...own goals

Falmouth Packet: The View from the Subs Bench: Ten of the best...own goals The View from the Subs Bench: Ten of the best...own goals

Back from an extended hiatus, TVFTSB brings you a selection of some of the best - if that's the right word - own goals ever scored by anyone, ever, anywhere. Ever.

Starting with this little beauty:

1) In November 2001 - and for no apparent reason other than it sounded like a good idea at the time - Sky TV cameras descended on non-league Forest Green for their FA Cup clash with fourth division Morecambe in the hopes of witnessing an upset. It must have been a slow weekend.

Sadly for Forest Green things didn't quite go to plan and they were easily beaten 3-0, but in the process defender Wayne Hatswell cemented his place in football folklore with one of the finest own goals of all time.

Wayne did almost everything right. With the home defence stretched he raced back into the box and intercepted a low cross before steadying himself to make a goal line clearance.

Unfortunately the bit he got wrong involved hammering the ball, not into the car park, but into the top corner of his own net.


2) Festus Baise. Oh Festus Baise.

This Hong Kong first division game between the wonderfully named Sunray Cave and slightly sinister sounding Citizen AA was goalless until an innocuous cross into the box saw Nigerian Baise leap like an electrocuted salmon and connect with this flying backheel, thereby lobbing his own keeper from just inside the box. A thing of beauty.

 

3) Remember Franck Quedrue? He played for Middlesborough? He was a bit rubbish? No?

Ah well. Even if you don't remember Queudrue, you can bask in the glory of this howler against Bastia from his time spent playing at French Ligue 1 club Lens.

Quite what was going through Quedrue's head - if anything - when he thumped this clearance into the stratosphere is anyone's guess. In any case, Franck evidently didn't realise that what goes up must come down. True story, Franck. That's physics, that.

 

4) As a player Chris Brass spent time at Torquay United, York and Hyde before returning to former club Bury as assistant manager.

It's a shame that Brass's career, which spanned two decades and featured more than 400 professional appearances, should be remembered not for the quality of his play, or his impeccable conduct on the pitch, but because he remains one of the few players on the planet to have scored an own goal with his face.

This from a game against Darlington...

 

5) Lee Dixon's baffling chip over Arsenal keeper David Seaman from the half way line remains an all-time classic, but the unnamed Ipswich player who managed to make such an unholy mess of this tame cross against the Gunners deserves his own place in the pantheon of all-time greats.

Perhaps the finest example of a goal scored with the buttocks.

 

6) Tony Popovic was good at kicking people.

He was less successful when it came to kicking the ball. So this rare moment of skill which saw the 6'4 Aussie centre back flick out a boot and redirect a cross in a rather beautiful,  languourous arc over his own keeper should be celebrated.

Don't worry about it Tony, you were losing anyway.

 

7) Trailing 2-1 with three minutes to go, it's obvious what FC Herevar's Jan Durica was trying to do after seeing this Debrecen penalty come back off the post.

Thing is, what he was trying to do and what he actually did were two very different things. 

Rather than whack his clearance high into the crowds, he instead found the top corner with an absolute rocket, instantly causing several of his team mates to collapse into inconsolable heaps. 

Many of them have never recovered.


8) The only thing you can say about Inigo Martinez's spectacular own goal for Spain's U21 side against Georgia, is that at least they were 6-0 up when it went in.

Martinez plays for Real Sociedad and is, by all accounts, a very tidy player, but it's likely he still wakes up in the middle off the night drenched in cold sweat at the memory of this stinker.

 

9) If only teenage goalkeeper Radu Mitu hadn't tried so hard to keep the ball in. If only he'd let it dribble out for a corner. If only he'd not changed his mind half way through his throw and the ball hadn't rolled out of his gloves and into the back of the net. If only he'd been a doctor like his mother wanted.

If only, Radu. If only.

 

10) What was Union Commercio defender Renzo Reanos thinking when he received the ball inside his own six yard box during this game against fierce rivals Universitario?

Here's a guess at what was going through his mind.

Either a) Should I clear the danger by kicking the ball with power and purpose as far away from my own goal as possible?

Or b) Should I swing my foot aimlessly at the ball, ignoring the possibilty that it may spoon off my shinpad and in to the top corner, causing my team mates to hate me forever and the opposition players to perform an impromptu dance.

Tough call. 

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