The process of appointing the next England football manager is fast becoming a farce - as an endless list of no hopers throw their names into the hat for a job, which in all likelihood, has been taken.

Stuart Pearce was first to apply, a candidate whose experience of football management at the top level amounts to two unsuccessful years in charge of Manchester City and a couple of tournaments with England Under-21s.

Pearce stated in a press conference three weeks after Fabio Capello resigned, that: “They (the FA) know exactly where I am, I’ve not fluffed around it, I’ve not turned round and said, ‘I’m not sure what I want to do’ - they know exactly what I want to do. If they need me to take the squad in the summer, I’ll do that with pleasure.”

Yes Stuart, because that is exactly how the FA should pick who they want to manage England at Euro 2012, give it to the guy who wants it the most.

And if you thought things couldn’t get any worse, on Monday, Glenn Hoddle declared himself a candidate. This is a former England manager, who failed to get us past the second round of the 1998 World Cup. A manager who then got righlty sacked in 1999 after saying that disabled people ‘were being punished for sins they had committed in a previous life’.

He is also a manager, who has since failed at both Tottenham Hotspurs and Wolverhampton Wanderers. Isn’t Harry Redknapp doing quite well at Spurs at the moment? Perhaps the FA should consider him. Anyway I’m getting ahead of myself, in an interview with the Independent Newspaper, Hoddle said the FA should appoint a caretaker manager for the Euro 2012 and he would be the ideal candidate for it.

“If I were to die tomorrow, my life would be incomplete,” said Hoddle, describing how he would feel if he weren’t to get offered the job.

As I said before, the job isn’t going to go to the guy who screams loudest: “Please, please, give it to me.”

That is normally a process that applies to the last desert on a dinner table, and even then it is considered bad manners.

I’m half expecting Paul Gascoigne to call a press conference and stake his claim for position by, saying: “I need it more than Pearce and Hoddle, because, after non-league Kettering Town sacked me in 2005, I’ve got nowhere else to go.”

I don’t know if Hoddle has been drinking with Gazza as well, because he is quite clearly delusional. Does he not think, almost two months after Capello resigned, that the FA haven’t approach the man (Harry Redknapp) that they want to take over?

The FA released a statement on March 2, saying that they would look to appoint the next England manager (Harry Redknapp) at the end of the season.

The statement, said: “We recognise that a lot of the managers on the (short) list are employed and we don’t want to interrupt anyone’s season. We’re not rushing this and we are expecting something at the back end of the season.”

Which roughly translates to: “Don’t worry with have it all under control. We don’t want to get blamed if Spurs fail to qualify for next season’s Champions League, but we have spoken to Harry Redknapp, who has expressed an interest in the England job, and we will look to appoint him on May 13 when the season ends.”

So, with that in mind, it is really time for these out-of-work managers and no-hopers to stop embarrassing themselves, put their CVs away and sit quietly by the phone waiting for that non-existent call from the FA.

What do you think? Do you agree with the Captain? Or do you think Hoddle would make a good caretaker boss? Leave your comments below or e-mail the Captain at editorial@packetseries.co.uk