Stithians Cemetery, Cornwall mum's plea over baby's grave

Courtney Rowe's son Jaxon Snell died from congenital heart disease in November 2021 and is buried at Meadowbank Cemetery, Stithians.

The plaque and the two windmills Courtney says the council want removed

Earlier this year Courtney, who lives in Porthleven, was asked to remove a small plaque from her son's grave, put up temporarily until the family can afford a head stone, and two toy windmills put up by his brother and sister.

She says when she pleaded with Stithians Parish Council to be able to put a small picket fence around the grave she claims she was told she couldn't as then they'd have to let everybody do it.

Writing on the petition at Change.org she said: "We are only allowed to decorate our son's grave with a headstone and flowers. We are not allowed to have a small picket fence around his burial site, no ornaments, no little teddies or sentimental bits that his big brother and sister who never met him can put down either.

Courtney and Michael with their other two children

"We have been asked to remove the small plaque we have put down for him and two windmills which his brother and sister put up for him. Please help us change this!"

She says she didn't realise there was no designated child baby area at the cemetery like there are at other places.

Courtney told the Packet they had chosen Stithians because Jaxon's dad Michael Snell grew up there and it was where they'd met there as well as it being quiet and out of way of any trouble.

"Most cemeteries have a designated child and baby section but Stithians Cemetery doesn't have that. I just want to put a little fence up where we can put decorations and stuff for him," she said.

"They don't care but we are not going to change our minds going to take it further, no one should be put in this position.

"As parents, you never expect to go through the loss of a child and have to then go through the agony of organising a funeral. This is hard for anyone when they lose a loved one.

"Never having to have planned a funeral before it was absolutely heart breaking having to put things in place for his burial after just losing him, when it should have been a joyful time at home as a family, before Christmas.

Jaxon died at five weeks

"We picked a lovely quiet place with sentimental value to us, as a family, to have his funeral and burial. Arriving at his burial site on the day of his funeral, we were shocked to see that there was no designated resting place for the burial of babies and young children, like there is in most cemeteries now.

"We later looked at the burial rules and regulations, which we received after signing the burial forms, that we were not allowed to decorate or place anything onto his grave apart from the temporary flower tributes after his burial and a headstone."

She says she spoke to the chairman of the parish council on August 8 asking if they would be able to put the smallest picket fence up around her son's grave where they would maintain it themselves.

She claims the chairman said: "If we let you, we will have to let everyone else and then it will get out of control."

Stithians Parish Council and the chairman have been asked for a response but none has yet been received.

However the cemetery regulations state that there shall be no kerbstones, planting or other ornamentation on graves in front of the plinth, no planting of flowers or shrubs shall be carried out on graves, No plastic flowers will be permitted in the Cemetery.  No receptacles other than flower vases (non-glass for safety reasons) specially designed for the purpose may be placed on grave spaces and then only within the limits of the headstone plinths.

"Anything placed on a grave not in compliance with clauses above will be removed and disposed of without recourse to the registered owner(s) of the grave.

"The council acknowledges, however, that mourners may wish to place mementos and other tributes on the grave immediately following the interment. This clause will therefore not be implemented, except for health and safety reasons, for a period of four months after the interment."